I didn’t want to force anything, to force my energy centers or to force my body in any way. I just wanted to feel what was happening and to let it move, to trust that it knew how to manifest the energy and let it go once it had expressed it.

At first, I was feeling rather numb and quite tense. The week had been very hard in a way and I hadn’t been very gentle with my body. It was as if I was expressing part of the force I was putting in my work as tension in my body: my body had to be rigidified, to be controlled or I would relax and be lazy. And these tensions were beginning to be deep rooted in my body.

It took several minutes I guess before I could feel something. It was mingled with the sound of the party in the other apartment, with the sounds of the street and Eric typing on his keyboard. I noticed several times that I was turning my attention to my work and I just accepted it, I had no intention to chastise my self because I was distracted of my primary goal, so to speak.

This allowance of my energy led me to experience different aspects of my energy. I realized I was split in many parts, and it was as if I had made it in such a way that the different parts of myself were unaware of the others. Some of them were wanting to express in one direction and other in another direction, at times seemingly opposite ones, contradicting one another and generating the tensions.

Images were swirling around in my inner vision, different physical sensations were flowing through my body like rhythmical waves, not very harmonious at the beginning. During this sort of meditation, I could feel myself becoming whole again and be parted again and whole again and parted, like a heart beating, I just had to pay attention to the periphery because that was where the unnoticed was happening. During the last few days, I had several times the thought that we are so focused on our primary aspect at times that we don’t know how to change, or how to adapt to knew situations because this primary aspect is not familiar with them. Holding so tightly to it, we don’t allow these less familiar aspects, the ones that we express rarely or not at all, unfold and help us in our lives. It only requires allowance, but the narrower we think of ourselves, the more difficult it is to explore differently.

Several times my attention was claimed by one side of my body or the other, left, right, left and right, left again, and both at the same time pulling in different directions, I could feel the tensions building and I didn’t know what to do so I just experienced it.

It faded out gradually as I wasn’t adding energy to it, it was like a wave of energy. I noticed several times that these waves were reflected in my environment, more noise from the neighbors, a car in the street or Eric turning on some hard rock music

All of it passed by.

Temporary nuisance… or not, the difference wasn’t so clear actually. I could decide that it was annoying or just a sound.

When I focus like that on my energy, I usually have different things happening. Faces appear in my inner vision, impressions or details of another life, physical feelings of repulsion or attraction or just numbness. Colors everywhere around my body as the energy was pulsing. My body was releasing energy and tensions at times as if I was shaken by some electrical energy, it could last only a split second or several of them.

There is often an unnerving quality in this releasing and the first times it happened to me I was a bit wondering what it could be. I don’t necessary like it and my thought process or my analytical aspect of self somewhat disappear when it happens. Though I observed it that time and I recognized how I could just let go of my primary aspect without losing it. I don’t want to discard it or put it away, it is only about allowing other aspects to surface and express, and gradually I was relaxing my body and my energy, feeling more and more in tune with myself. The pulling by each side of my body became more balanced and I could feel the energy begin to flow from one part of my body to another more continuously, more gently.

I then allowed myself to play with my energy centers and it became clear to me that I was somewhat crushing my chest under some block of energy that I was holding to very tightly. I used the humming quality of my energy, the vibrant energy of these parts of myself that I could feel alive flow through these rigid parts and again the electrical releasing followed by a sense of expansion. At that time I could hear Eric choosing a funny music for the video he was creating about his drawing process (look at it). I let the fun fill in my body and smiled.

There is a lot more to this experience than I can transcribe and it lasted until now and I know I can explore more of myself this way. I always put off the moment when I would begin to play with my energy and establish this relation with myself as gently and as nurturingly as how I did with my sister last week. It only required that I trusted my expression and my desire.

I could feel new worlds to explore, new ways of expressing myself and it triggered my curiosity.

As I was falling asleep the other day, I was observing the myriad of images in my mind and something began to catch my attention in the background, small and hidden.

Driven by my curiosity, I directed my attention closer and wished it clearer when suddenly I could see a symbol. I could feel it vibrate strongly and widely and I felt the urge to get up and draw it quickly lest it just fade out.

Eric, who was in the computer room working on something, thought I was angry because of the noise he was doing. I remember telling him “What noise? Give me a pen!” and I drew a rough sketch of it.

The day after, Eric put it into colors and shaped it as a tile for the Jorid.

We both felt it could be connected with Mayan culture and there was many things I could feel about it, though most of it is still unformulated because I’m still trying to figure it out
All I could say was that it was connected with exchanges of energy between dimensions, maybe like a worm hole and a black hole.

Looking at it, this symbol looked very familiar to me, and I wondered if I had seen it before, and where I could have seen it. Actually, I remembered drawing very similar sketches a few months ago, though I never connected with them as I discarded them as just lines on paper. It is not new to me but it appeared clearly to me yesterday and I felt it could be also made of magnetic metal.

Eric also suggested it could be connected with my Mayan “shaman” focus that I’ve felt a few months ago, maybe around the same time I’ve drawn the first sketches.

The idea of making a 3D render made its way to my attention and today I decided to begin. I knew I wouldn’t complete it in one day, but I didn’t think it would take me all the afternoon… Here is the first render of the stem of the Green Phoenix. There is no light in the scene, no texture on the stem but at least I’m satisfied with the first part of the process.

Dream : I put the chrysocolla wand on the side table the other day at the head of our bed. We kept it 2 days like that along with a chrysoprase. The dreams we had were very soft and nurturing, reconstructing. In one of my dreams the first night, I was playing with the wand and a bird was pecking it dubiously. I was massaging the palm of my left hand and teasing the bird with it.

Tile : I associate strongly the vibration of this stone with the vibration of the helper (part of the tiles composing the Jorid), the reconnection with our own nurturing vibration.

A few links : Web Mineral

First thing I noticed when I closed my eyes was the feeling of the current state of awareness. My focus was strongly on the physical and the room. I took several deep breath and defocused my attention slightly. My awareness of the room diminished as my attention was attracted by seemingly random mental images still unrecognizable.
Eric spoke to me about some twitter related plugin we are currently looking for the Jorid and I exchanged a few words with him even though my attention was still going farther away.

The first images I saw was about people in Peru. I associated it with the videos I watched today about explorations of mysteries made by a couple of “explorers” there and I let the images change. I was seeing then other people, some of them were children of some village nearby, some were adults. I tried to feel if I had a body, but no physical sensation. I rather had the feeling that I was just translating from above their head. I had no body, I wasn’t perceived. I didn’t feel any particular draw to any of them. Still I had the thought I could merge with one of them and experience more.

That is all that I got before having the impulse to get up and write it down. I hope I’ll have more about this kind of exploration later and that I can add it to the Jorid

The geological type area for labradorite is Paul’s Island near the town of Nain in Labrador, Canada. It occurs in large crystal masses in anorthosite and shows an iridescence or play of colors. The iridescence is the result of light refracting within lamellar intergrowths resulting from phase exsolution on cooling in the Boggild miscibility gap, An48-An58.

Gemstone varieties of labradorite exhibiting a high degree of iridescence are called spectrolite; moonstone and sunstone are also commonly used terms, and high-quality samples with good iridescent qualities are desired for jewelry. Labradorite on Wikipedia

Dreams : At the beginning of this year, I suggested myself to dream again about stones and their qualities. I didn’t plan on which stone I would explore and I only remember one dream with stones… maybe there were more and more symbols too, but the one that caught my attention was about labradorites. In the dream I had a few of them and I had decided to use them. Taking one of them in my hand, I had the impression that it was connected with the others in a kind of energy network. That gave me the desire to explore this stone a bit more and last time we went to AIN I bought 3 more with the idea of building my network. This is strongly associated for me with all these fantasy books by Mercedes Lackey in the Valdemar realm. The Herald Mages had created such a stone network in order to protect the kingdom, they were using big amber stones, ruby and emerald maybe. For me, labradorite has a sense of multiple layers and multiple simultaneous connections, acting like pivot points or nodes.

Tile : The vibration of the Green Phoenix tile reminds me strongly of the vibration of the labradorite. A vibration of connection, of a network, of exchange and multiple layers. As I associate also the Green Phoenix tile with Mayan culture, I’m willing to explore this connection further including the stone to facilitate the exchange.

A few links : Dream Snapshots

Dreams : I bought one citrine quartz and a few tumbled citrines once at AIN last November. After that I had a dream in which I was using it one of the tumbled stones as fertilizer for my plants. In the dream I was trying to bury it deeply in the earth but it wouldn’t go into the ground, it was like a buoy on water, floating on the surface of the pot. From that dream I got a sense of nurturing for that stone, an idea fertilizer maybe. I associated it also with Nitrogen, though I haven’t explore that aspect of the stone yet.

It has short legs, a short and thin trunk, and its body hairs are curly.

Its head is usually bald and its expressions of what appears to be affection make it a desired companion for most of the rich lady of several Warring Kingdoms of the Duane.

The main aspects expressed by this creature are a relaxation of seriousness and affection. It is bold and doesn’t bother with refinement. It will help you release most of the tensions generated by too much serious in your lives and will make an excellent diversion when you don’t know what to say to your friends…

That’s when I noticed that since a few days with Eric, we were having lots of spam with something related to Watch or Watch making as the object. I don’t remember now, but there were a few other synchronicities connected to Watches, and one with Tracy who was speaking of WatX.

Since then, as I want to move my attention to the City again, I continue to have the feeling of Gabriel… I have at the moment no further impression about the individual, no time frame, no name, no surrounding. Just this impression of looking for the intimate knowledge of the functionning and structure of Objective and Subjective.

Mmmm, thinking of it, I also have the impression that this focus is strongly connected with Eric (just got the impression of a dolphin) and I intend to find more about it.

:fleuron:

The connections continues from time to time. I had several impressions of a name like Sylvandar and Eric had a dream about a puzzle which led us to create a new puzzle tile.

This tile was used in a most surprising way in a dream I had after that. In that dream, I was attending a course about something like bioengineering and the books I had was about erosion on earth. The teacher was very present and we were circling around her. She asked us to read something, and when my turn arrive, I realized that what I had to read was written on my shirt… maybe some kind of metaphor meaning “I have the answers”. At one moment, she stretched her arms and drew the tables closer looking intently in my eyes, and the form of the table was really like the central point of this puzzle-tile.